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Monica Bobbitt

Monica Bobbitt

Monica Bobbitt was a military spouse for almost 21 years until her husband, Dan, was tragically killed in a light armoured vehicle rollover during Exercise Maple Resolve at CFB Wainwright in May 2014. Monica writes about her experiences as a military wife and widow in her blog, A Goat Rodeo. There, she openly and honestly discusses what it's really like to be widowed and shares the wisdom she has learned as she continues to move forward with her life. She also shares her story with military members and their families at speaking events across the country.

Videos

Grief is different than PTSD and should not be a taboo subject

We don’t talk enough about grief in the military community

Every military death should be honoured

Every military death results in different kinds of grief for the family left behind

Dan didn’t die as a result of enemy action

Being a military wife helped me survive Dan’s death

I’m happy that my son loves being in the military

My son is about to have his first deployment

Life has gone on

Grieving secondary losses

I felt stagnant when I was no longer moving every year

I’ve grown around my grief

There can be a goodness that happens through tragedy

I was the reality people didn’t want to face

Talking to Dan about his wishes gave me a roadmap

My public speaking to Military members and their spouses

We don’t talk about the reality of what it’s like if your loved one dies

I felt like I was carrying the grief of Dan’s entire regiment

I was grieving but didn’t want to be angry and bitter

Stoicism is a big hindrance in grief

Writing as a form of therapy

Military widowhood

Losing the Military community was a secondary loss for me

It was difficult to figure out where I belonged

We had a lot of family decisions to make

Planning the funeral and the weeks after

I was on auto-pilot for the first few weeks

I was in shock when they told me of my husband's death

The death of my husband Lieutenant Colonel Dan Bobbit

Grief can be cumulative for those in the military

Dan and I never spoke about his own grief that he carried