Understanding loss
Traditional military and policing cultures of “toughing it out” and “sucking it up” have resulted in grief being denied, buried and ignored to the detriment of the veteran and their family.
Each loss is different
Some losses may be easier to come to terms with than others. Previous losses, the circumstances surrounding the loss, the number and severity of losses, other difficulties happening in your life, and your coping skills may affect your grief.
It's not just one loss
It’s common that one loss results in many other losses, which are known as secondary losses. For example, the loss of a limb can end a career, change one’s life trajectory, impact finances, interfere with personal connections, and affect hopes, dreams, and expectations about the future. For family, a new posting can mean the loss of community, friends, favourite places, a job in addition to the energy and work of "starting over”.
I wanted all these things that were gone from my life. My career. My identity. I was married at the time; I was gonna be a mom. There were all these things that I thought about, dreamed about, and planned for as to where my life was going. And then none of them ever happened. So I was actively grieving because I had to work through all these things that would never come to be. - Military Veteran
Why it’s important to address your losses
When difficult feelings or thoughts aren’t looked after, they can sometimes linger, leading to difficulties in your relationships, career, as well as physical and mental health. These problems can range from minor to severe and can include, depression, anxiety and thoughts of harming yourself or others.
