What is grief?
For me, it was years before somebody said, “You know, you’re grieving. You’re grieving yourself, and you’re grieving the old you.” It was like a lightbulb went off, and I was like, “Oh, man! I’m grieving!” So, your first question might be, "What have I lost?" Because it’s not understood that grief could take on so many different forms. - Military Veteran
Grief is a big part of how we process operational stress injury. It plays a big part in the family. It was one of the key learnings that shifted how I am as a partner and as a parent. - Family Member
Grief is a natural response to loss, but it’s often not recognized and can be misunderstood by ourselves and others. Some losses will have a greater impact on you than others.
Common features of grief
- Grief is different for everyone. What helps one person, may not help another.
- Despite popular belief, grief doesn’t have stages or steps. People usually move back and forth between different thoughts, feelings, preoccupations and difficulties.
- Veterans and families told us that grief was often longer and more complex than they expected.
- Grief isn’t something we “get over”, rather it is something we find ways to live with.
- There is no “right” or “wrong” way to grieve. Only you can decide what is helpful (and not helpful) for you.
- Your grief may come and go. Good days can be followed by difficult days, and vice versa.
- Difficult thoughts and feelings can come up again sometimes months or years later.