Understanding the experience

I knew in my head that life at home would be different when my husband retired. The actual experience was way more difficult than I ever imagined. - Family Member

Grief fits into this uncomfortable conversation. You know, you don’t just grieve the loss of a person you were. There’s all these other little pieces of grief that you kinda go through. - Military Veteran

I have yet to meet a Veteran who doesn’t feel a profound loss of identity and all that goes along with that. It is really different from other kinds of work. It’s the uniform, the sense of camaraderie. It’s the service. If they’ve been at war, was the war supported by their community? By their country? Are they coming home to partner and family support? - Military Therapist

For many service personnel and their families, the military or RCMP has been a home, family and social life. It has provided structure, purpose, and direction. Transition to retirement and civilian life is a significant life event that can lead to feelings of loss.

I was kind of conditioned to think that the military lifestyle is the one and only way to live. And I think that’s part of what set me up to struggle on the civilian side of things. I didn’t know how to be. It was a bit terrifying. - Military Veteran

In developing the necessary sense of loyalty and purpose, the military damages our chances of really, truly reintegraing unless you work really, really hard at it. Because there’s this innate fear that you won’t be able to fit in, that your skills won’t translate… that you’ll fail. - Military Veteran

Circumstances can impact how bumpy the transition to civilian life is, for example:

• Whether retirement was the Veteran’s choice or not,
• The extent of service physical or psychological injuries,
• How the Veteran has approached losses and grief,
• How prepared the Veteran and family are for a very different life,
• If retirement goals are realistic.