Introduction
I’ve learned that we have to take control of our lives. We are ultimately responsible for that. And if we don’t take control, then we are abdicating our responsibility and we end up paying dearly for that. I am responsible for this, so I better start learning as much as I can on who I am and how I react and deal with these things. - RCMP Veteran
Grief is a common outcome of service. You may have been experiencing the effects of grief during service and not recognized it. Grief may have waited to show itself until months or years after you left service. Grief often takes us by surprise and can leave us feeling alone and in uncharted territory as we struggle to understand what we are feeling and how we are responding to grief. Many try to hide or deny these feelings to protect their families. This can lead to feelings of shame, isolation, and disconnection from those who are most important to us.
The only way around grief is through it
You might be struggling with difficult feelings and reactions, or it may feel like you are in the fight of your life, trying to rebuild your whole world. You may have been avoiding your grief and the emotional pain that came with it. You may have found yourself engaging in self-sabotaging behaviours, like alcohol, drugs, shopping, sex, exercise, or gambling to name a few. It is generally understood that the more self-sabotage there is, the more pain that needs to be addressed.
Your grief may have had an impact on your relationships, especially with your family or others closest to you. Attending to it, as you are now, acknowledges to them that you recognize this and are willing to work towards making things better.
Looking at this Road Map is a giant step forward in beginning to figure out responding to your grief in ways that can help.
There is a way through even if you may not be able to see it right now.
In this topic we discuss:
- The steps to recognizing your grief,
- Helpful strategies to consider,
- Figuring out what works for you,
- Signs that more help is needed.