Recognize your grief: What have I lost?
The second step is looking back on your career, and beyond, to situations where grief would be an expected response. This may mean abandoning old notions that grief only accompanies death and embracing the fact that grief can occur with any significant loss.
Examples of losses that can lead to grief
- A trusted colleague or partner who left the service, was transferred, posted, or deployed.
- A sense of community lost when you were transferred, posted, deployed or repatriated.
- Being passed over for promotion or not reaching career goals.
- Witnessing horrific events.
- Being asked to do, or not do something that contradicted your moral code.
- Missed family events including births and deaths, birthdays, holidays and not being present to support a family member who is ill.
- Feeling disrespected, disillusioned or undervalued.
- Being betrayed by someone you trusted.
- Divorce or other relationship breakdown.
- Loss of sense of purpose, of who you are or what you believe in.
- The death of someone important to you.
- The death of a RCMP or CAF member who you may not know personally.
- Experiencing a sense of guilt when you survived something others didn’t (survivor’s guilt).
- When your body or brain don’t work as they used to.
