When grief is hard to acknowledge
It may be hard to admit to yourself that you are grieving because it means acknowledging how much your life has changed. You may not be ready to accept these changes.
Stigma and judgment
Your grief may feel heavier and more confusing if you do not feel it is acknowledged by others, or if you feel judged by others about it. People in your life may not understand the impacts this loss is having on your life. This is sometimes called disenfranchised or unrecognized grief. You may be finding that:
- It is hard to communicate with others what you are going through,
- Your physical or cognitive changes are not being accommodated,
- There is real or perceived judgment from other people,
- That other people’s advice and opinions about what you should do are not helpful.
Some aspects of your grief may include the following:
- Wishing you could return to your former physical, cognitive, or emotional self,
- Resentment for or envy of others who aren’t facing the same experiences you are,
- Grief about what you can no longer do/must now do differently,
- Missing the ability to do things that you used to enjoy but can no longer do or do differently,
- A loss of your sense of identity,
- Trying to distinguish between grief and the effects of the health concern,
- Worry related to future declines in your health (also called anticipatory grief),
- Needing to depend more on the people in your life,
- Grieving your loss of independence,
- Concern with becoming a burden to others,
- Not wanting to keep living this way.