Staying connected and making new connections

It’s hard for a soldier to focus on themselves while they’re figuring out what they want next in their lives because everything has been about investing in a team. I just wasn’t very interested in investing in myself. So, one thing that helped was redirecting myself to another team. For me, part of that was volunteering, and I did find meaningful connection with the people that surrounded me. - Military Veteran

You might find it helpful to focus on finding connections. These might be within or outside the service community. Volunteering your talents or skills can foster a new sense of belonging, create new relationships and help renew your sense of purpose.

Sometimes I find myself in a place where I’m uncomfortable reaching out, but I’m struggling. So I try to redirect myself to the other people in my life: What about friends? What about family? Who am I reaching out to? How can I get involved in other things? Most military units have some kind of Veterans’ group - there’s always a retired group. - Military Veteran

The relationships you developed in service will always occupy a special and unique place in your life. You may find yourself feeling resistant to making new friends outside of the service. Consider that new people with new ways of seeing and approaching the world can create new possibilities for you.

Sure, I wasn’t gonna be sharing a foxhole with some random city guy - and it’s true that the people I went to Afghanistan with are family. But, you know, I hardly talk to any of them anymore. Still, man oh man, it takes like four minutes to catch up when I do see them. It feels like yesterday that we were all out on deployment, and there’s this connection that I’m never gonna lose. So, it’s not that I lost those connections - but I also developed other meaningful relationships with civilian counterparts, whether that’s my neighbour or the people in my running club. - Military Veteran

During your time in service, you formed lasting relationships through the teams that your organization built, and shared work and purpose. It may feel challenging now to build relationships without this structure. Remember that you formed new relationships through postings and deployments. You can do it now too.

I know my strengths and weaknesses and I know the people that I’ve met. These are people I can hang out with because I want to, not because they’re in the same office. Those relationships are just hopefully gonna get stronger. It’s a little bit of an adjustment. But I’m trying. - RCMP Veteran